Let me start by saying I am in no way disrespecting, but I have a hard time with October and Breast Cancer Awareness. Not because I think it is unimportant, but because I think that the other forms of cancer deserve just as much awareness. One of my favorite quotes is this: "When you lose someone to cancer, awareness lasts a lifetime". My paternal grandmother is a breast cancer survivor. She had a double mastectomy. My maternal grandmother had uterine and cervical cancer. She had all her lady parts removed. Almost all of the men on my father's side of the family have had prostate cancer. My mother had oat cell (also known as small cell) lung cancer which she beat, but later it returned in her brain. She lost her courageous battle. Other cancers are focused on during certain months of the year, but it is not to the same extent. It is important to get preventative tests for ALL forms of cancer. If your doctor suggests that you have a colonoscopy, a mammogram, or anything else, PLEASE follow his orders. It could just save your life.
Now, with that said, I would like to say again that I am in no way downplaying the importance of breast cancer awareness. I have the utmost respect for survivors and their families. I love the NFL for their participation! They do an awesome job of promoting awareness. Maybe I should not say I have a problem with October and breast cancer awareness. The more accurate statement would be this: I have a problem with the lack of focus on cancer awareness period. It is like a dark cloud or the elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about it, and no one thinks it will happen to them. I challenge you to name a friend or family member that has not been somehow touched by cancer. It is an ugly, undiscriminating thing. We can only pray that new treatments and improvements on old treatments are developed and researched daily. I honestly hope that no one who reads this is offended, and that everyone understands where I am coming from.
I have been so blessed this week to find out that a couple of friends are going to be pregnant with me! I cannot wait until I can reveal their names, but for now they shall remain a secret! I have a special place in my heart for those who struggle to get pregnant. I know the pain and heartache that accompany infertility. Oftentimes, we look around and see people who appear to us to be undeserving of children dragging around 2 or 3 little ones. While it is not our place to judge whether they should have been given a chance at parenthood, the human side of us cannot help but wonder why her and not me. As I struggled with my own infertility, I had to come to terms with this. While I knew in my mind that God had a plan for me, my heart often won the emotional battle, because it could not understand the why. However, eventually, I convinced my heart and mind to agree and finally, I was at peace. It was only after this transformation that I was able to become pregnant. The following verse got me through this and other trying times.
Wade and I found out this week that on November 4th, we will be having our fetal analysis scan and finding out the gender of the baby. As a new mother, I have spent several hours laying in bed wondering if the baby is developing as it should be and praying for just that. Boy or girl--It does not matter one bit! We will love that baby with our whole heart one way or the other. I only pray that the baby is healthy. And, again, if something is not just right, my love will be no different. I already love the baby more than I ever thought I could love someone. That love will never change! I cannot wait for November 4th, but I am also looking forward to November 5th, when we will share the wonderful news with our friends and family!
